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| My electives in University Hospital has been the focus of my life the past couple of weeks. Personally, I've found it to be an interesting experience so far; sort of a little taste of what life might be like for me in the future. Waking up at ungodly hours in the morning, driving to the hospital even when I'm so very tired and spending hours either standing or walking around. Although it is indeed an easy way to deplete one's energy I must say I enjoy it.
At least, it's easy to enjoy when all I'm doing is observing. It's easy sometimes to just memorize the pictures in an anatomy book and know where everything should be and how everything should work. Yet you'll never find that texbook-perfect patient. Plus, if everything in the body is fine, why would the patient need surgery in the first place?
As exciting as watching medical procedures and surgeries are, I find myself thinking more of the patient's aspect of things. The look of their faces just before a surgery; the little beads of sweat that form right over the eyebrows and the slight quivering of their fingers. There's fear written all over them and when I look at them I sometimes just wish I could hug them or hold their hand and just tell them everything is going to be fine. I was in no place to do that though.
Doctors can sometimes seem so cold and calculated. Is it wrong? I wouldn't say it is. I do however wonder if I'll end up the same. I realize the need of striking that fine line between being too involved and compartmentalizing my thoughts so I can stay sharp enough to save my patients but frankly, it's not easy.
Plus if I do end up becoming a neurosurgeon, I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be focused 100% of the time. One botched move and I might have my patient having riveting conversations with his oft-ignored bedroom walls.
As such, I thank God for putting me in the right circumstances to have me posted with the doctors I'm shadowing now. Some of them really go the distance in explaining everything to each and every patient, always making sure they understand.
People ask me why I'd take the time to help people out even though I have no reason too, and I used to say it's because I can't stand not helping. Perhaps nowadays if someone asked me that I'll tell them it's so I can be a better doctor when the time comes.
Thank you Lord for helping me through all my choices even though sometimes it seems everyone else thinks I'm crazy for doing some of the things I do.
Kuhanesh | | |
| I've always wanted to be an author. If only I could write well. Tsk.
Kuhanesh | | |
| I was in Medan and since I thought I might as well buy myself a book to keep me company when I have to wait in the airport the next day and for the flight and drive home. As such, I went to 'The Sun' a.k.a. The Happening Mall and went into the bookshop.
Lo and behold! All the books were in Indonesian. That probably wouldn't be too bad except that it's a little different from BM so I wouldn't be able to understand it properly. High and low I searched and there was no books in English to be found!
At first.
I then realized that there is one book in English. Just one. All the other versions of the same book were in Indonesian too. So should I buy it? I mean, I really wanted something to read. I was desperate!
Unfortunately, that book was New Moon.
*Lightning strike*
AHHH!!!!
Kuhanesh | | |
| I was reading up on Leonardo da Vinci yesterday before heading off to watch the exhibition in our National Science Centre today.
Before going on though, I must say that our Science Centre could do with a serious upgrade. I find a lot of the exhibition a little outdated, which makes the section on "Technology of the future" little more than an embarrassing joke. It's a real wasted opportunity as I think the place could make a wonderful place of learning for younger students. Instead we get outdated information (eg. the planet Pluto) to malfunctioning equipment.
Anyway, the Leonardo exhibition was pretty entertaining. I also watched a 2 hour documentary on the man last night and it was great seeing some of the drawings in his codices made manifest as tangible models. What amazes me, other than his immense talent in painting of course, is the ideas he came up with.
Many of his ideas were hundreds of years ahead of his time. Case in point, his design of a "suit which allows people to walk underwater" or his version of a parachute, which actually works. Understanding current ideas based on accurate scientific facts are hard enough, but to just study nature and come up with your own theories based on those observation and to then assimilate those inner-workings of nature into mechanical outcomes is nothing short of amazing.
I always did find a system of pulleys and levers rather fascinating. The way one small cog could eventually, and subsequently, cause a cascading series of event which culminates in the simplest of actions always causes me to think.
And think I did. It boggles the mind how one man can not only practice so many different disciplines (from art to music to anatomy and many more) but actually be excellent in each and every one. He was not thought Greek or Latin since he was an illegitimate child and even wrote from right to left in a mirror image. In today's day and age, he'd be called 'uneducated' by many-a people.
Yet he pursued the subjects which he loved. He was enthralled by the movement of water, by the majesty of horses, the way a bird flies, and so much more and, with a curious mind, always set out to find more about these aforementioned topics which garnered his interests.
I'm not saying that anyone who expressively follows his interest will be a world renown master in it, but I always wished that sometimes, in life, we're not just indoctrinated to study based on the whims of what is the current flavour of society. I love school, I honestly do, but the pigeon-hole method of memorizing is something I always find flawed. We reward those whom are able to memorize with showers of praises and the ever-holy A grade in report cards. Those whom really try to understand everything, and are sometimes not able to completely memorize a book from cover to cover are considered merely average or, in some cases, under-performers.
It'd be great if we were encouraged to do new things, to , as the saying goes, think outside the box. Currently, it feels more like "Think outside the box but within the constraints of the examination marking scheme".
Perhaps I can learn from Leonardo and his love of anatomy. With one more year to go before clinical school, I can feel a small sense of dread building up with the minuscule worry of whether or not i'll be able to cope when pushes comes to shove (medically speaking).
Maybe I should personally home school my children in the future.
Kuhanesh
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Dead Alive
By Timothy Balme, Jed Brophy, Stuart Devenie, Silvio Fumularo, Murray Keane
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Hey guys!
Perhaps, for the sake of convenience, it is prudent for me to split my well wishes into three separate paragraphs; one for each batch.
To M208: EOS 3 is looming ever closer huh? It's been a long semester for all of us and I'm sure every single one of us have tons of stories to tell about what we've experienced in that time. Do not let the worry of the impending examinations cause you too much worry. I mean, on the bright side, we don't have to face SAQ again! Regardless of whether you passed or failed your two sumamative exams, do not let it be a cause of overconfidence or an indomitable sense of defeat. Over the next four days, just try to keep your minds as focused as you possibly can, and don't let the feelings of a particular performance on a paper effect your train of thoughts on the subsequent one. In the end, I suppose you can't do more than to just give it your best. Don't worry guys we'll get through it! And since Semester 4 only has one summative paper, WHEN we get through Sem 3, we can all already start dreaming about Sem 5 =)
To M109: I realize the gravity of the situation. I'll be keeping you all in prayers! The thought of the repercussions itself can be, in itself, nerve wrecking and daunting but if it's any consolation, know that at all times, God is there with you. I hope that the past month has been productive enough! Onwards to Sem 3! =)
To M209: Ah, M209. I can't help but think of the double edged sword of being in an orientation committee when thinking about your batch. On one hand, I wish I could have known all of you more (via being an OO) yet on the other hand, I had the desire to ensure you all had as good an orientation as possible. I suppose it's a sacrifice in a way; trying to make everything work during orientation while giving up the opportunity to spend two weeks of madness to bond with you all, relegating to only knowing as many as possible when giving out my signature. Ye gads I do digress. Anywho, I doubt any of you will be reading this but it's still my venue for expressing my thoughts anyway. So, it's your first major exam in IMU! I hope that you all start off on a good foot if possible. I hope none of the seniors said anything to cause you all any major worries over the difficulty of the exam because I promise you: It is highly manageable. Again, please do not compare yourselves with others as everyone has their own study style and their own way, and limit, of understanding. Just go in that exam hall and do what you can and before you know it you'll be enjoying some well earned free time! Hopefully in the year to come, I'll get a chance to know as many of you as possible =)
Keeping you all in prayers.
Kuhanesh | | |
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